31 Confessions

1.I can't whistle
2.I am a germ freak
3.I've never been to Disney World/Land
4.I have no desire to go to Disney World/Land
5.I am scared of flying
6.and needles
7.and heights
8.I was a fat kid
9.I still like the Bangles
10.I am left handed
11.I lied on my eye exam so I could wear glasses in the 5th grade
12.My motto is "close enough"
13.I could eat mexican food 7 nights/week...seriously
14.I am a terrible camper, the outdoorsy thing is an act
15.I've never been in love
16.I cut my own hair
17.I am very talented in my profession, but it's not my passion
18.I experience social anxiety, often
19.I have a secret desire to be on a reality show
20.Ironman makes me cry like a baby
21.I've had grey hair since I was 13
22.I hate shopping
23.I love buying
24.I can't remember jokes
25.I used to be an all-star baseball player
26.I have watched Teen Wolf 1000 times
27.I was on the prom AND homecoming court
28.I hate watermelon
29.Atlanta Olympics...diving platform...2 AM...Swan dive...perfect 10...butt naked..seriously
30.I have deleted more posts on here than I have actually published
31.I will probably end up deleting this post within hours of publishing it

Go Back...

Close your eyes...And go back...
Before the Internet or the Mac
Before semi automatics and crack
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...

Way back...

I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.
Red light, Green light.
Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on.
Mother May I?
Red Rover
Hula Hoops
Running through the sprinkler
Happy Meals

Wait...
Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons
Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages, G-Force & He-Man
Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos
Playing Dukes of Hazard
Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar
Christmas morning...
Your first day of school
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
Climbing trees
Getting an Ice Cream off the Ice Cream Truck
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed
Pillow fights
Runnin' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
Being tired from playin'
Your first crush...
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" in the classroom
Remember that?

I'm not finished yet...
Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance, and another quarter a Miracle.

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry
Groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were so cool.
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to
the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.

Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of
drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents
were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of em!

Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!"

I want to go back to the time when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.

It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being OLD referred to anyone over 20.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
Nobody was prettier than Mom
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big
people" rides at the amusement park.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for
giggles.


The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest
protectors.

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived.

Rise Up Lights

Here's something to amuse your friends. Say the phrase "Rise Up Lights" out loud, kinda fast. It sounds like you are saying "razorblades" with an Austrailian accent. I discovered that when I was in college...I was very cool back then.

I am learning the value of time and productivity in my life. When I am productive, I am usually pretty satisfied with my day. I have been put in charge of a new project at work. I am the lead researcher on a new study of coronary heart disease. I am running stats on the data of about 2000 of our patients and trying to find correlations between EKG stress tests and Cardiac calcium scores. I know this doesn't mean a lot to most people, but for a physiology geek, I eat this stuff up. It is good to be productive...finally.

Fellowship, Party of One

My good friend Tinna and I have started a morning tradition in our office of having a coffee fellowship. When we both get a break in our schedules, Tinna and I pour some strong coffee and hide in one of our offices and enjoy "the Fellowship." It is actually one of my favorite times in the day...it makes me remember why I am here. But lately, Tinna has been out of town...so the Fellowship has been broken...Brandon, party of one.
Tinna is also a fellow cyclist and former triathlete. She is a good cyclist, for a girl. Actually she has kicked my butt up the infamous "Bastard Hill" many times. More to come...

ScouterBlue

It is only appropriate that I write about the namesake of this blog, Scout and Blue. Scout's my lab, he's a year and a half old, and just about the friendliest dog you will ever meet. If he had a human voice, I'm am pretty sure it would have an Asian accent. Blue is his 2 year old sister. She's a Neopolitan Mastiff who I rescued from an abusive situation in Cave Creek. She is about the most faithful and affectionate dog I have ever met. Her human voice has a thick Southern accent, kinda deep and raspy, like a smoker.

These dogs bring so much joy into my life. In many ways, Scout and Blue are the person I always wish I could be. They are full of love, grace, joy, forgiveness...they are rarely in a bad mood, and always genuinely happy to see everyone they meet.

However, they are not always perfect angels. Yesterday while I was running errands Scout opened the refridgerator and ate just about everything, he cleaned me out...then had the nerve to beg for dinner. Blue, on the otherhand, is very selfish with her space. At night she sprawls out across my bed and growls at me if I intrude on her space. These are issues which we are still working through...boundaries.

It Better Be Worth It

The space shuttle landed safely early this morning. I am glad those folks are safely back on the ground. It has made me think a lot about the space program over these past few weeks. I have growing skepticism. Since the disaster in 2003, NASA has spent over $2 Billion researching a 1.5 lb piece of foam. This past mission cost us over $500 million. Think about that...we just shot $2.5 billion dollars into the air. That's disgusting.

I know there are many benefits to the space program. Microgravity creates an excellent environment for testing vaccines, medications, and other medical treatments, but that can't that be done on an unmanned rocket. Do we really need to go to space, the moon, Mars? Is this a competition with China and Russia? That's an expensive competition.

$2.5 billion could go a long way in Africa. Can you imagine if we scrapped NASA and used that money to end disease and poverty in sub-saharran Africa. When I watch the astronauts on TV doing all sorts of anti-gravity tricks and antics, it makes me angry. When I see the silly astronaut man showing off his new somersault trick, it makes me think about my friends in Kenya who are malnourished and dying. $2.5 Billion, it better be worth it.

Uncomfortable Beginnings

It is a bit intimidating starting to write here. As I sit here and think how to begin, who's gonna read this, who am I going to offend, I realize that when I take all of these things into consideration, I might as well not even write b/c this would turn into an empty posting of details of my often monotonous life. Rather, I am hoping I can be quite honest, and allow this to be a sounding board, with an occasional reply just to know that someone is listening.
It is also quite intimidating to make yourself vulnerable. As a quiet person, I find that things come out of me on paper in a way that they never have or would come out of my mouth. I guess this could be quite intriguing in a sense, but also kind of scares me to think that someone might actually get to peek inside my life. In the past year, I have learned that the more uncomfortable conversations I have with a person, the more comfortable I actually become with that individual, and hopefully vice versa. With that being said.....this is my blog.

I am at an interesting point in life. I have been in the real world long enough to see that I will never be satisfied by the real world. I will never be financially secure, I will never have the house I want, and will never find any kind of quiet satisfaction in the real world. After a nearly 3 year hiatus, I have begun spending time alone with God again. It is a simple time. Being still, praying, reading, singing. During this time the volume of the real world is turned down. In a crowded coffee shop there is deafening silence. I feel satisfaction. I feel purpose, simplicity, hope, joy. I've heard joy described as the deep settled confidence of knowing that God is in control of your life. Joy.......6:45AM, the volume rises, I enter my office, I am back to the real world. This is my life.