Uncomfortable Beginnings

It is a bit intimidating starting to write here. As I sit here and think how to begin, who's gonna read this, who am I going to offend, I realize that when I take all of these things into consideration, I might as well not even write b/c this would turn into an empty posting of details of my often monotonous life. Rather, I am hoping I can be quite honest, and allow this to be a sounding board, with an occasional reply just to know that someone is listening.
It is also quite intimidating to make yourself vulnerable. As a quiet person, I find that things come out of me on paper in a way that they never have or would come out of my mouth. I guess this could be quite intriguing in a sense, but also kind of scares me to think that someone might actually get to peek inside my life. In the past year, I have learned that the more uncomfortable conversations I have with a person, the more comfortable I actually become with that individual, and hopefully vice versa. With that being said.....this is my blog.

I am at an interesting point in life. I have been in the real world long enough to see that I will never be satisfied by the real world. I will never be financially secure, I will never have the house I want, and will never find any kind of quiet satisfaction in the real world. After a nearly 3 year hiatus, I have begun spending time alone with God again. It is a simple time. Being still, praying, reading, singing. During this time the volume of the real world is turned down. In a crowded coffee shop there is deafening silence. I feel satisfaction. I feel purpose, simplicity, hope, joy. I've heard joy described as the deep settled confidence of knowing that God is in control of your life. Joy.......6:45AM, the volume rises, I enter my office, I am back to the real world. This is my life.