Erased
One of my favorite books is called A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken. The book begins with a man visiting an old house where his most precious memories were made. A place called Glenmerle.
I'm in Texas this weekend visiting my family. I had some free time today so I decieded to visit the house where I grew up. I'm in Lucas, a small residential suburb of Allen, which is a suburb 30 miles North of Dallas. I took a drive today that tugged at my heart. It was the first time I have visited the house where I grew up since I moved out. This house sits in the middle of a wooded 10 acres. This 10 arces was surrounded on all sides by 100 acre cattle ranches, so it was paradise for a kid to grow up. We had 25 chickens, 4 goats, and 3 dogs, and 0 neighbors. It was the kind of place where we would leave our doors unlocked and never worry about security. The only intruders that concerned us were Coyotes and Chicken Snakes that would invade the hen house. My brothers and I made rope swings and ziplines in the trees in front of our house. Under these trees are the graves of my three dogs. I have a memory from every step of this property.
Today everything looked smaller and less impressive. The tree I used to climb has been cut down. We had a long dirt driveway that I used to walk every morning to catch the school bus. It has somehow been erased as if it never existed. It is now replaced about 100 yards to the left by a fancy paved driveway that is lined with gas-lit lanterns and manacured grass...kinda made me ill. The surrounding ranches have been sold to real estate developers and now are covered by $90,000 track homes. Our barn has been torn down; the chicken house leveled. A hammock swings directly over the now unmarked graves of my dogs. I would give anything for an hour in that hammock.
I let go of this place a long time ago. I thought I had, anyway. Its like someone has taken the location of my childhood memories and erased it. I don't know this place. This is not home.
I'm in Texas this weekend visiting my family. I had some free time today so I decieded to visit the house where I grew up. I'm in Lucas, a small residential suburb of Allen, which is a suburb 30 miles North of Dallas. I took a drive today that tugged at my heart. It was the first time I have visited the house where I grew up since I moved out. This house sits in the middle of a wooded 10 acres. This 10 arces was surrounded on all sides by 100 acre cattle ranches, so it was paradise for a kid to grow up. We had 25 chickens, 4 goats, and 3 dogs, and 0 neighbors. It was the kind of place where we would leave our doors unlocked and never worry about security. The only intruders that concerned us were Coyotes and Chicken Snakes that would invade the hen house. My brothers and I made rope swings and ziplines in the trees in front of our house. Under these trees are the graves of my three dogs. I have a memory from every step of this property.
Today everything looked smaller and less impressive. The tree I used to climb has been cut down. We had a long dirt driveway that I used to walk every morning to catch the school bus. It has somehow been erased as if it never existed. It is now replaced about 100 yards to the left by a fancy paved driveway that is lined with gas-lit lanterns and manacured grass...kinda made me ill. The surrounding ranches have been sold to real estate developers and now are covered by $90,000 track homes. Our barn has been torn down; the chicken house leveled. A hammock swings directly over the now unmarked graves of my dogs. I would give anything for an hour in that hammock.
I let go of this place a long time ago. I thought I had, anyway. Its like someone has taken the location of my childhood memories and erased it. I don't know this place. This is not home.
posted by Brandon at 10:52 PM
1 Comments:
Ditto. Went back to my old house, too. Just wasn't the same. Everything looked smaller. Was sort of a run down area now.
I am in Colorado and love the open space here. Realizing the toll Phx takes on me at times. Yet, also excited about the people in our church and in my life during this history that God is writing.
Say hi to the fam.
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