Let's Be Honest
Man, I still struggle with blogging. Insecurity, I guess. It's more a question of, "do people really care what I have to say"? "do people really want to hear about my life?", "do people realize what a stretch it is for me to try to sound intelligent?" Who cares, what the heck, I'll blog.
I do find that sometimes its just hard to know where to begin. Do I talk about work? Nobody really wants to hear about that...and if I really talk about work, I will probably get myself in trouble. I actually do find myself enjoying my work more these days. A few new side project have popped up, my patient load has increased dramatically, and I have my very own intern. He will be with me until May.
I want to be honest. Not about any certain topic, just honest. I wish my life could be an open book...but that won't happen. Pride is probably the number one reason, but also a good deal of social awkwardness and anxiety gets in the way. I just want honest, deep relationships. I'm tired of the bullshit. Forgive me, that's who I am.
How honest am I? How well do people know me? How well do I know them? As you know this has been an ongoing theme through my blog. Yes, I am trying to be honest and let you see a little more of who I am, but you know what the funny thing is?? I have not told a single member of my family about this blog. Honestly, I don't want to. Why is it so hard to be honest to the people closest to you? Why won't I let the people most dear to me read these entries? They're not that revealing. And the thing is, I have a great relationship with my family. Just something I've been thinking about today. And really, I don't want your answers to these questions in my "comments" section. No offense, it's just not why I wrote this blog.
I do find that sometimes its just hard to know where to begin. Do I talk about work? Nobody really wants to hear about that...and if I really talk about work, I will probably get myself in trouble. I actually do find myself enjoying my work more these days. A few new side project have popped up, my patient load has increased dramatically, and I have my very own intern. He will be with me until May.
I want to be honest. Not about any certain topic, just honest. I wish my life could be an open book...but that won't happen. Pride is probably the number one reason, but also a good deal of social awkwardness and anxiety gets in the way. I just want honest, deep relationships. I'm tired of the bullshit. Forgive me, that's who I am.
How honest am I? How well do people know me? How well do I know them? As you know this has been an ongoing theme through my blog. Yes, I am trying to be honest and let you see a little more of who I am, but you know what the funny thing is?? I have not told a single member of my family about this blog. Honestly, I don't want to. Why is it so hard to be honest to the people closest to you? Why won't I let the people most dear to me read these entries? They're not that revealing. And the thing is, I have a great relationship with my family. Just something I've been thinking about today. And really, I don't want your answers to these questions in my "comments" section. No offense, it's just not why I wrote this blog.
posted by Brandon at 7:55 AM
3 Comments:
blogging is weird because you really do expose your character to complete strangers. i barely have an acquaintance with you, but i can get on here and see your deep & personal musings. i happen to love it because people fascinate me! but i'm still trying to grasp this whole concept.
brandon, i've only met you a few times...does that warrant privelege for me to comment on your blog? (i got to it from loren's list..so i will take the license to do so)...your thoughts about your family resonate with me and i wanted to comment. i am in this place constantly with mine... teetering back and forth between wanting to share but then not wanting to offend them with the details about the most fulfilling relationship in my life. strange how evangelism to those who are the most meaningful to you is often the hardest. but maybe it should be that way because the stakes are great... but the reward is even greater. thanks for this. it's a welcome conviction to me of who I am called to be to my family.
I have an answer for every question you asked on this blog. Come see me. I will fix them all. It will take about 15 secs. And will cost you a mere $6,000. You've got my number.
Post a Comment
<< Home